I am fine. Better than fine. I was not sad yesterday. Firstly, because I think Valentine’s Day is stupid. I do not think celebrating love is stupid, for the record, I just think love should be celebrated every day (and not only because you never know when your husband is gonna get the bile duct cancer and peace out on you way too soon) but because it really is the best feeling in the world. Being loved. Giving love. It’s nice. I like it. On all levels, too, not just romantic love.

Also, I’m not a very romantic person. In the past, maybe I was. A bit of a hopeless romantic some might say. (I used to fantasize about all the amazing plans Ash would make for us (any time of the year to be clear, not just Valentine’s Day) but the fact of the matter was, if I didn’t plan it, it didn’t happen.) But these days, I’m more of a realist, bordering on pessimistic. And that’s ok. When life knocks you on your ass, some of us have a harder time seeing the sunshine and rainbows and romance in any given situation at any given time. I accept that about myself.

I posted something funny on social media yesterday. I thought it was funny anyway. I stole it off someone else’s page, too. I’m a dirty little social media meme thief. It said something like “If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember…nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.” And I got a lot of comments back. I know how loved I am. I am surrounded by some of the most amazing humans on Earth! But a girl has got to laugh! And there’s nothing this girl loves more than laughter (as far as intangibles go, obviously I love my kids and family and friends and stuff more than anything). My post had the opposite effect (side note, I just had to google whether it was effect or affect here and I still don’t know if I got it right) that I had intended. I was not looking for pity. There is nothing about me to pity. (Ok, the whole husband being dead so young and my kids not having a dad is pretty sad. But we still don’t want your pity. Because we are strong AF. And cool AF. And even on our worst days, we are fine AF.) I wanted laughter. Because I always want laughter.

Yesterday I spent with one of my besties. We road tripped to laser hair removal hell (where I got denied for my treatment because I’m on an antibiotic for some weird rash around my nose (I like to call it nose herpes but my dermatologist told me to stop saying that – it’s just dermatitis – and nose herpes doesn’t sound appealing. I don’t think dermatitis sounds anymore appealing but ok) and apparently you can’t have lasers on your skin when on an antibiotic because there’s risk of becoming permanently splotchy. I was ok with taking the risk but nobody cared about my opinion. We then indulged in a little retail therapy, followed up by one delicious, giant margarita (the George Clooney – smooth, indulgent and good to the last drop (ew?!)), and far too many chips and queso (doesn’t get much more perfect than that). We then returned home where my bestie’s amazingly hilarious husband presented me with 3 hot pink roses, 1 fresh pineapple (if you know you know) and an ice cold Modelo. I then spent the remainder of the day with my children. It was a most perfect day – Valentine’s or not. And I felt loved everywhere I went. My only regret of the day was not having any Valentine’s chocolate while snuggled up on the couch with my 12 year old son and 2 year old crazy ass dog watching a show that probably my 12 year old son should not be watching (follow me for me top notch parenting tips). His girlfriend didn’t even get him any chocolate. Pretty disappointing and not at all winning any brownie points with this mama. Just saying…

Yesterday was lovely, thanks for asking.