A few things have happened in the last couple of months so here’s a quick rundown – we came back from Texas and continued with the business of summer including but not limited to beach time, pool time, friend time, baseball time, beverage time, happy times and yes, sad times; we got a yellow lab puppy (why you ask? Because my kids couldn’t resist him and I’m a glutton for punishment); I got 5 flat tires (yes, you read that correctly, FIVE FLAT TIRES – one of which could no longer be plugged because the hole just kept ripping and tearing, tearing and ripping, kind of like a mother birthing her FIFTH child I imagine (ummm ewww, sorry)); a tree limb had the audacity to put itself through the back glass of my car (one could argue that I was at fault but one would be wrong – 100% the dickfaced tree limb); my 13th anniversary came and went (same day the tree limb attacked – coincidence? I think not); my kids went back to school (7th grade and 2nd grade – how they hell did they get so old); the 7th grader made the football team; the 2nd grader has fallen in love with basketball (only after I sneakily signed him up and dropped him off at camp without ever really telling him where he was going or what he was doing – follow me for more parenting tips); I turned 40 (how the hell did I get so old); Ash should have turned 40 (forever 37 though – he’s a dickface much like the tree limb); and Colt turned 8 (seriously, why the hell is everything getting so damn old – I say this jokingly as I know better than most that if you’re not getting older, it probably means your dead and we ain’t quite ready to be dead.) And that brings us to right now. I’m sure I’ve missed a few (several) details but this is just a little quickie – an afternoon delight if you will – hey oh!

The motivation for today’s post is me, being a bad ass, yet again. I brought up the puppy to really bring you up to speed on why I am so awesome today. Bucky is his name. He’s 5 months old. He’s cute AF. And bad AF. I keep trying to send him away to puppy boot camp but then I look into his cute little face and I can’t bare to part with him for 3 weeks. What if he forgets me? What if he falls in love with some hot little dog trainer and doesn’t want to come home with me? Sure, these sound like dreams come true but unfortunately, I’m a little bit obsessively in love with him, bad habits and all. Anywho, I get home from picking the 2nd grader up from school, and there on the chaise lounge portion of my couch is some lovely, orange, chunky dog vomit. I’m not sure what the little shit has gotten into but it looked like something with some green vegetables so I can only assume it was pretty healthy. I cursed a little bit because nobody wants dog vomit on their anything and then decided a plan of action. I would strip the couch of it’s coverings and throw them in the wash. They need a good washing anyway. This is the catalyst that has sprung me into bad ass action (this isn’t even the most bad ass part – you just wait.) Now, I don’t have a lot of time because I have to be at my son’s away football game by 6 pm at the latest so that I can watch him begrudgingly sit on the sidelines (that’s another story for another day – he is a special teams aficionado so gets approximately 7 seconds of playing time at least 4 times per game) so I throw the covers in quick wash and then quick dry. Now, getting the covers off was none too simple, especially the chaise portion where you had to push and tug and pull over and over again to maneuver the damn cushion out of the damn cover. I didn’t think how complicated that would be when putting the cover back on.

But guess what? I fucking did it. Was I sweating my tits off? Yes. Was I cursing like a sailor? Yes. Did I push the puppy 17 times because he thought I was playing some amazingly fun puppy game that definitely involved jumping, biting and licking? Also yes. But I did it. Because I am strong and independent and more importantly really, really, really fucking stubborn. Don’t worry, I also celebrated myself big, told the 8 year old what I bad ass I am and took a few victory laps around the couch.

Life is complicated. Puppies are cute. Kids grow really fast. And we can all do hard things.