No, I’m not a rancher but I do love ranch dressing. For real. I’m one of those people that wait staff hate because I ask for ranch dressing on the side for pretty much everything. (I’m certain this little addiction has NOTHING to do with the size of my ass. And thighs. And belly. And, you know what, just mind your own damn business!)

So why all the talk about ranch you ask? Coz last night I managed to make dinner. Ranch chicken, which I’ll share that so easy my 19 month old could do it recipe with you in just a bit. But first I want to talk about earth day. Why you ask? Because my kindergartener had an earth day party today.

Yes folks. An earth day party. Apparently that’s a thing in kindergarten in these parts. Now, I’ve heard of planting a tree at school, or cleaning up the nature trail or doing something actually earthy in nature for earth. But never, in my almost 34 years, have a seen anyone throw an actual earth day party. First time for everything I guess.  (Side note, I just got up to blow my nose in the middle of a sentence because mama’s got a nasty cold and completely forgot where I was going with this. Yay me. Awesome as usual!) Anyway, I was in charge of the drinks. So I brought in a big jug of red dye no 4. You’re welcome parents. Happy to  make you so happy!!! The kids got some pretzel sticks, chocolate pudding and gummy worms. Oh and 1 strawberry each. What the hell any of that had to do with earth day is beyond me. But it got me thinking. Maybe I should have an earth day celebration. Everybody bring a  plant for my garden (and plant that shit too – I hate yard work) and I’ll provide  you with an earthy mojito or 6 (earthy because of the mint, which is a plant, which is earthy – we’ve come full circle). Who wants to come? I think it could be fun. (Of course, I’ll have to keep having them every week so that y’all can maintain the plants that you’ve planted. Otherwise they gonna get sick and die. Coz mama’s thumb ain’t even close to green!) RSVP in the comments below. I’m thinking Saturday afternoon!

So, ranch chicken. Super easy. Super tasty. Super super super kid friendly. I served it last night with green beans, biscuits and rice. So here goes:

Ingredients: (this is another one of those meals where I’m just winging)

thin sliced chicken breasts (if you can’t find them, you could just pound out (oh yeah!) regular chicken breast but you know this mama ain’t got the time or want for that)

Hidden valley ranch dressing (this is very important – you want this particular brand for the nice tang it provides)

Italian style bread crumbs (I use regular and panko cause I like that little crunch the panko provides)

Directions:

Fully coat the chicken boobies (that’s slang for breasts) in ranch dressing followed by the bread crumbs. Bake on 350 for 25-30 minutes (depending on how thick your meat  is – I could go so many places with that but I’ll spare you!!). That’s it y’all. It’s tasty. It’s easy. It’s a winner.

Now, if you yourself are the ranch enthusiasts that we in this family are, then please know that I also make a batch of homemade ranch and use it to dip the chicken in. Coz that’s how we roll (literally coz our asses are so big from all the ranch consumption!!) Kidding.

Tonight I’m cheating yet again. Move over Sandra Lee. There’s a new barely homemade girl in town!! I like the Harris Teeter pre-made turkey meatballs. Throw them in with some good marinara, put on a toasted hoagie, melt cheese on top – voila meatball subs!

Next week I’m starting a 10 day shred to lose some of this ranch dressing off all my wobbly bits! This entails no gluten, no dairy, no caffeine, no alcohol, no patience, no happiness. I’ll keep you posted on that progress. Hopefully the children survive. The hubby probably won’t!!!!!

Y’all take it easy. RSVP to the earth day party. And each subsequent week! Haha!!! xoxo

One more thing…if anybody wants to buy me a new computer, I’ll gladly accept it. I’d prefer a mac desktop with the big screen. This laptop I got now is a  piece of shit! I inadvertently deleted this blog post TWICE people and had to rewrite it. So I was probably way smarter and cleverer 2 times ago!!