Author: Kellie

Kellie is a 43 year old widow/wanna be child but really just stays home with her own two children. She loves to read and get a suntan. Preferably at the same time. She's now delving into the big bad world of blogging! Be kind, Strangers!

V Day Blues!

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The funny thing about life changing news is that it changes everything and yet changes nothing at all. Take today for instance, the day of love, the day you’re supposed to surround your loved ones with all the good feelings you feel for them, especially when one of your loved ones is facing his mortality.

I woke up feeling all those lovey feelings. I gave Mr. Wonderful his silly valentine – a Harry Potter puzzle because he’s been really into putting puzzles together lately. I accepted long ago that a romantic he is not and gifts he does not do! (Thank God for my mama showing my boys how to treat the special lady in your life!!) – (SIDE NOTE: I bought myself an Apple Watch for Valentine’s Day – Mr. Wonderful said he would never buy me one because “it’s like a shock collar” but said if I wanted to get if for myself, I could, which I did, so happy love day to me!)

Anywho, wake up, love everyone, give gifts and go about my day getting the boys ready for school, lunch packed, coffee made, everybody dressed, teeth brushed, you know, all those glamorous jobs we do as parents. Mr. Wonderful generally does not get up in the morning, but he had chemo yesterday, and they hop him up on mega doses of steroids for the next few days, so he’s feeling a little more rambunctious and gets out of bed before me this morning. Weird. Slightly irritating.

So, he turns on the TV – a cardinal sin in my house in the morning. My children cannot handle TV in the morning. They turn into brainwashed zombies that can only stare at the magic box of power. Could be a Cialis commercial, could be CSpan, doesn’t matter, it comes on, they are glued. Does not bode well for trying to get out the door on time, which we struggle with on our best days. So I plead, probably more like yell if I’m being honest “Noooooooo, turn that off, no TV in the morning before school!”. He doesn’t turn it off. I’m annoyed. Irritated. But I keep it to myself and go about my morning.

Coffee is made, children are eating, I have gotten dressed (well, threw on some yoga pants and a sweatshirt – that sort of counts as getting dressed because there’s a bra involved) and return to the kitchen to get my morning cup of Joe. To my surprise, the TV has been turned off and Mr. Wonderful is in the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher. Very nice. Now, a large kitchen, I do not have. There is not room for 2 people to really work in it together. So I dart in to get that very necessary cup of coffee, thinking I’ll be quick, he won’t even know I’m there. Well, I should have known better. He did know I was there and he was not happy that I was there. Snarky comments were made. I may have returned said snarky comments. Irritation abounds. Mr. Wonderful shouts he has now emptied the dishwasher “TWICE IN A ROW”. Well hold the fucking phone, honey. I didn’t realize you had done it TWICE IN A ROW. Where is your medal? Where is your ceremony honoring your persistence, your helpfulness, your tenacity? My goodness, twice in a row. Let me roll out the red carpet!!!!!!!! I may have applauded him, slowly, he may have said I was acting like a bitch. It may have been a pretty shitty way to start the day of love.

So, now, here I am, writing this, feeling agitated all over again.

My whole point is, even when you’re hit with some pretty unfathomable, earth-shattering, life changing, kick me in the vagina news, not much really changes. We’re still married. He’s still a pain in the ass sometimes and I’m still a bitch sometimes. I guess we just have to get all of our annoying behaviors out a little faster just to make sure we have the time to get them all in. (That made sense in my head, not sure it does on paper!)

So, as you can see, this writing thing is going to jump around a lot. I will get back to the story of what’s happening, but I needed a little lightness in the dark. Like annoying the shit out of your valentine!

 

The Chaos of it All

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It’s been a while. We opened a business and that consumed our lives. It was fun. It was difficult. I stopped cooking a lot because of the nightly hours of said business. And now, that business is for sale.

It’s funny how you can be living, surviving, doing all the things we all do on a daily basis. And then BAM, you are hit with news that forever changes everything. That’s what happened to us.

My husband and I were working a lot last summer. We barely saw our kids, but it was ok, we were building something, showing them what hard work was with the hope that all that hard work would pay off.

It’s August, we’re both exhausted, but my husband more so. He has an autoimmune disease, so had some belly pain, too, which we equated to all the long hours and lack of sleep on top of the primary sclerosing cholangitis (PSC). We’ve lived with this for years now, so it’s nothing new.

Only this time, it was something new. The pain didn’t go away. As a matter of fact, it actually got worse. So bad, that he became couch ridden. He couldn’t tolerate laying flat in a bed, so the recliner is where he spent his time. He lost 25 pounds, couldn’t eat, wasn’t sleeping. I kept telling him to go to the doctor, call the doctor, do something. He still refused to believe it was anything other than PSC symptoms until that fateful September day where he finally called. He started with his liver doctor (where he’s seen for the PSC). Liver doctor says it sounds like a bowel obstruction, go directly to your local ER, do not pass go, do not collect $200. While that news wasn’t thrilling, it felt like relief to have an answer and be on the path to feeling better.

We knew our ER doctor from around the community. We were having fun in the ER. Laughing, joking, making the best out of the “shitty” situation if you know what I mean! Husband was taken for a CT to confirm what we were already certain was true – bowel obstruction. He comes back. still laughing, still joking.

We have a bit of time to ourselves before the results come. Husband may have dozed off for a few. I may have looked at Facebook for a few. But then the doctor comes back, and we can tell that something is different. His tone, his facial expressions, his mannerisms. He’s not easy going, fun doctor from our golf leagues last winter. He’s serious. He’s somber. We’re scared.

Bowel obstruction would have been great news. Hell, a lot of other things would have been far superior to the news we received. Although, on that day, we still didn’t know how bad the news was going to be. What we did know was cancer, all over the abdomen, don’t know where it came from and our local hospital was not equipped to figure it out. So, husband was transferred to a larger hospital about an hour away. And that’s where our journey begins.

We are 36 years old. We have 2 young children. We are devastated. We are hopeful. Cancer sucks but it’s cured all the time. He’s young and otherwise healthy. Everything will be just fine. That’s what we keep telling ourselves.

I can’t say that the care we received at the bigger hospital an hour away was anything to write home about. It was sterile. We felt like just another case. Nobody seemed to care about the news we were still reeling from. Our nurse smelled like a damn brewery from her fun the night before. We had to get out of there. They did all the necessary tests and we hightailed it as soon as we could.

We knew there was better out there and we were determined to find it. And we did. We eventually landed at Duke Cancer Center. What I can tell you is those are some of the most amazing people I have ever encountered in my 36 years. I will get to more on that in a later post, should I actually stick to posting again!

For now though, my friends, let me share with you the news we were given in regards to my 36 year old husband with 2 young children and a nearly thriving business.  Cholangiocarcinoma, also known as bile duct cancer, Stage IV, terminal.

TERMINAL. Terminal. terminal.

And that’s why I’m here writing now. I need somewhere to vomit my thoughts. I need somewhere to scream, shout and let it all out. I need somewhere to cry. I need somewhere to laugh. I need somewhere to protest the sheer bull shit of it all. I need somewhere to be where I don’t have to be quite as strong as the front I’m putting on every day.

 

 

She bakes! She bakes!

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Seriously y’all! Just made some bomb a$$ cookies! I’d share the recipe but it’s complicated and intricate and just, really only those advanced bakers should try it. I mean the details alone kept me busy most of the day!

Although I won’t be sharing this top secret recipe, I will show you the final product! 


😂😂

Y’all don’t be jealous of Mama and her mad skills!! xoxo

Taquito Bandito

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Hello party people. It’s me again. I’m back like backstreet only they’re not back. I think we’ve gone over this before. When we left off, I promised you a bean and beef Taquito recipe. And I will give it to you. Promise. But first I have a couple things to say. Shocking, I know!

So, first things first, my six-year-old got student of the month the very first month of school. Now let me tell you this, he certainly is not student of the month at home but it does feel good to know that what we teach him at home is actually sinking in I would assume. I don’t mean to sound offensive about Jack. It’s just at home he’s going through a shall we say asshole phase (may as well call a spade a spade). To be fair though, his dad and I are probably going through an asshole phase as well. You know how your kid is doing something and you’re watching it and it’s driving you nuts and you’re about to yell at him and all of a sudden BOOM! It hits you that he’s acting exactly like you. Pretty freaking annoying, isn’t it? I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles so to speak. 

But anyway, back to student of the month, (not that I’m bragging or anything, (I totally am)) we are so proud of him and it is an amazing accomplishment. So we took him to his favorite restaurant to celebrate on Friday night. Restaurant meaning burger shack. They also serve custard. And I’d like to talk about custard for a minute. Holy slap your mama tasty. Custard is the shiznit! Now we were in line and I debated on whether or not I should go for the custard. I’m trying to lose weight. I’ve been doing the couch to 5K thing. I’m on week two I’m happy to report and I’ll get to more about that later. So I was trying to be good. However, they had pumpkin pie custard the night we went. And I try to tell Mr. wonderful that I wasn’t having any. As a matter fact we went through the line and I didn’t order any. Mr. wonderful got some kind of cookie sandwich hot fudge 5,000,000 calories in a bowl so I figured I would have a bite of his and that would satisfy my custard appetite. Well wouldn’t you know I failed again. Not only did my husband get up and get in line and order me some pumpkin pie custard, but he also added a scoop of vanilla to it and rainbow sprinkles. Yes I said rainbow sprinkles because I love rainbow sprinkles. I always have. I always will. And I am not ashamed. Holy moly double guacamole, was that shit good. It was worth every ridiculous calorie it had in it. Seriously. If you live in the area, it’s kill Devil custard and that pumpkin pie custard with vanilla custard was just really worth everything. It was so good I’m not even making sense right now. Heed my advice and go get some immediately before it runs out and before they shut down for the season. You’re welcome in advance.

Moving on to couch to 5K or whatever that nonsense is I’m trying to complete. Not that it’s nonsense. Actually I’m very much enjoying it. It goes by fast. So far the jogging isn’t too bad. And it makes my day just start way better than if I just slept in. I’m on week two. Just started it today. And I highly recommend it if you’re looking to get moving like my big fat booty needed to do. So since I’m doing all that jogging, you know like half a mile currently, it only makes sense that I carb load. I’ve already made dinner for tonight,  high-five me. It’s a baked macaroni and cheese with bacon so really how can you go wrong. I’ve not tried it before and I am kind of combining a couple of recipes to make it something that I want and that my boys will eat. So pretty much double the cheese you know triple the noodles whatever, I’m just kidding (sorta)! I’ll let you know how it turns out. And give you the recipe. Carboloading is fun. For us half mile runners. Not unlike half marathon runners. Nearly the same thing in my opinion!

So now that you’ve read (you did read it, right?!) through all this boring bullshit I’ve put in your path, here is the much anticipated (in my egomaniacal mind) beef and bean taquito recipe! 

Ingredients:

Vegetable oil 

1 pound lean ground beef

1 can pinto beans, rinsed

1 onion halved and sliced thin

2 jalapeños, stand, seeded, and minced

3 garlic cloves, minced, or you could be like this mama and just use minced garlic 

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp chili powder

1 8 oz can tomato sauce

1/2 cup water

3 tbsp minced fresh cilantro

Salt and pepper to taste

Corn tortillas

1 large egg, lightly beaten

Directions:

Brown hamburger, drain and set aside. In a separate bowl, mashed pinto beans with a masher. It really says with a masher. If you want to use a spoon, I won’t tell anybody.  You do you boo.

Heat 1 tablespoon of oil over medium heat. Add onion and cook until softened and lightly browned. Stir in jalapeños, garlic, cumin and chili powder and cook until fragrant. Stir in tomato sauce, water, cilantro, half a teaspoon of salt half a teaspoon of pepper, drained beef and mashed beans. Cook, stirring often, until mixture has thickened and begins to sizzle, about 10 minutes. Now, this recipe didn’t call for it, but I also added about a cup of shredded Colby Jack cheese because mama don’t cook if cheese ain’t involved. My arteries love me. So if you want to add cheese, mix it in and stir until fully melted. Then transfer meat mixture to a separate form. And let cool for 20 minutes. 

Wrap corn tortillas in a wet paper towel and microwave for approximately 1 to 2 minutes, depending on how many you use. 

Brush the top edges of the corn tortillas with egg wash. Place desired meet him out in corn tortilla and roll tight. 

Now, you could use a deep fryer if you have one, or just heat oil in a large skillet on the stove and fry them that way. I chose the skillet way because it seems less messy. So once you have your taquito all rolled, place them in hot oil and fry on each side for approximately five minutes. 

Voila, you have taquitos. The recipe made a shit ton so I ended up by freezing a good bunch of them after we finished eating. Works out well because then you can just pull them out, especially during football season, pop ’em in the oven, probably on 400 for 15-20 minutes (totally pulled that out of my ass, I really have no clue) until they’re heated through and bon appétit, you have a snack.

So that’s it for today y’all. I’ll check back in and let you know how the bacon mac & cheese is, but really how could it be bad?! Bacon. Cheese. Win. xoxo

Glamp it up up up!

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Raise your hand if you’ve missed me!! We’ve been busy. I’ve been cooking but I’m keeping it all to myself! Kidding. Kidding. I would never keep all this queen of the kitchen status I’ve got going on to myself. That would just be unfair. Ya heard?! (I don’t know why I do these things. Weird is as weird does I guess!!)

So. Glamping. Do you do it? Because you should. What’s that saying? Want to hate America, watch the news. Want to love America, go glamping. (Yes, I know it’s camping but Mama don’t sleep on the ground or without a fan!) We went glamping at an oceanfront KOA a couple weeks ago with a couple of other families (6 adults and 7 MALE children! Yikes!) and had an amazing time! There was the pool, the beach, the playground, the giant bouncy thingy (its official name obviously), the game room, the grilling, the fire, the smores, the laughter, the playing, the drinking, the eating and just generally the being merry. I’m telling y’all, it felt magical! We rented a “rustic” one room cabin (I like it when rustic means a/c AND a fan) that included a full size bed and bunk beds. Pretty durn perfect for a family of 4! Get out there and glamp y’all! Promise you won’t regret it. (I wonder if the KOA wants to pay me for all this awesome promoting and marketing I’m dishing out for them?!)

Anywho, cooking. I’ve tried 2 new recipes already this week and both were absolutely delicious! The first was a chicken and veggie teriyaki pasta and the other was beef and bean taquitos (which were a little more involved than mama likes but oh so yummy)!  

First up the One Pot Teriyaki Chicken and Noodles (don’t be fooled, there’s not one drop of teriyaki in this dish. Go figure)

Ingredients:

2 tbsp oil

2 chicken breasts cut into chunks (I seasoned ’em with salt n pepa…the spices. Just to clarify)

1 cup shredded carrots

1 cup snap peas

1 chopped bell pepper (I used yellow coz it’s the 6 year olds favorite color therefore he will eat it. Coz 6 year olds)

1/2 cup soy sauce (I used reduced sodium)

2.5 cups chicken broth

1 box pronto half cut spaghetti (or, ya know, just break that shit yourself if you’re not as lazy as me)

1/4 cup honey (this was very disturbing to the 6 yr old)

2 tsp garlic (I used minced since the recipe didn’t specify)

1 tsp fresh ginger

1 tbsp white vinegar 

2-3 sliced green onions (this is optional. We opted in and don’t regret it! 😜)

Directions:

1. Heat oil in large skillet (I used a large pot! Shhh! Don’t tell) over medium high heat. Add chicken, season with salt and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned. 

2. Add the carrots, peas and peppers and cook for 2 to 3 minutes until tender crisp (whatever that means)

3. Add the soy sauce, chicken broth, honey, garlic, ginger and vinegar and stir until combined. Stir in the noodles.

4. Bring back to a simmer over medium heat and cook, stirring occasionally, for about 10 minutes until Al dente (that’s fancy for not quite done, in mamas opinion anyway! Mama likes her noodles soft. Not in all things of course! Gross.)

In the future, I think I will add water chestnuts to this recipe. I missed the crunch that I like so much. Here’s what the finished product look like. Mama remembered to take a picture. Score!


As for the beef and bean taquitos, you’ll have to tune in tomorrow for that recipe. Or whenever I do it. Because we know mama aint so good at this.  For some reason my computer has malfunctioned and I’ve had to do all of this on my iPhone and I’m done now. I cannot type on this thing any longer! 😱 

So stay tuned friends. I’ll be back…xoxo

When life hands you lemon(ade)

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Say fuck that shit and make yourself a margarita with the non margarita ingredients you have on hand. Like patron, lemonade and limes. Keeping it classy as usual friends!

I am making a new recipe tonight (miracle of all miracles) but based on the tequila intake, I’m sure it will be shit! I’ll keep you posted. Hopefully. I wouldn’t hold your breath. Unless you’re like a dolphin. Then you might be ok. 

xoxo 

Once a cheater, always a cheater

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Is this true? I don’t know. But I’m not talking about the bad kind of cheating where you want to rip your spouse’s nads off for putting his tool in another chamber so to speak. I’m talking about cheating at making dinner. Coz as we all know, this mama loves a good dinner cheat! (Not a spousal cheat, this mama doesn’t love that! Duh!)

Anywho, on with the cheating. Hubby grilled steaks the other night. And they weren’t just any steaks. They were NY Strips about 3 inches thick. That’s a lot of beef for two people. Now, I don’t know about you, but reheating a steak and eating as a steak is not so good. I do not enjoy it. I find it a bit on the nasty side (no offence if you like it, to each her own and all that jazz). So, what does one do with a leftover slab of beef? I’ll tell you. You make steak quesadillas. That’s what you do. They’re easy. They’re delicious. They’re cheap. And did I mention they’re easy?!

I made these easy, delicious, cheap and easy cheater quesadillas last night. Everybody loved them and we didn’t waste all that delicious beef (coz it’s what’s for dinner!). All I did was cut up the remaining steak into little cubes/squares/whatever; throw it in a hot frying pan, cover with salsa (I used Pace thick and chunky coz I like my salsa like I like my body!!!!!); get it all nice and warm. Meanwhile, I have a big ole skillet I’m heating on medium-high heat. The trick with quesadillas, if you don’t have a quesadilla maker (which, what a waste of money, again in my opinion, which as we know are like assholes, moving on) is to make sure your pan is nice and hot before you put the quesadilla on it. So meat’s simmering in salsa, skillet is heating up…I like to use the big ole burrito sized flour tortillas, lay it on the counter, cover half with shredded cheese of your choosing (I used the 4 cheese Mexican blend, reduced fat, coz I really don’t like being thick and chunky…), cover the cheese with the meat, then added some shredded cheddar on top of the meat (coz, fuck it, maybe I’m meant to be thick and chunky) and really, you want your quesadilla a. cheesy and 2. to stay sealed/together/whathaveyou. So fill it with your ingredients (I like to sometimes add spinach, black beans rice and/or corn but mama didn’t have these supplies on hand so just simplicity last night), spray  your super hot skillet with cooking spray and cook quesadillas on each side until browned and crisp. Last night I served them with a side of pinto beans and called it good.

Yummy stuff y’all! Great way to use any kind of leftover meat, really. It’s hard to go wrong with a Mexican dish in my opinion.

So, today is my 7 years of marital bliss with the hubby day. And of course, this mama ain’t cooking! I’m going to feed the kids early, put them to bed early and hubby is going to bring home some takeout and we’re going to eat child free, which is always a treat. This is actually the first year ever we haven’t gone on an actual date on our anniversary but hubby has to work late and I’ve used a lot of babysitting (ie my parents) lately and feel like they probably need a break! So, late night date night at home it is!

Until next time friends….xoxo

steak quesadilla

Oops! I did it again!

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Are you seeing recurring theme here? Backstreet Boys first and now Britney. I know, I know. Stellar music choices. As well as stellar splotchy blogging. All I can say is, it’s summer time and the living is easy (and the cooking is nonexistent). We’ve been busy, beaching, boating, and boogeying (not really but it started with a B so I went with it).

We bought a boat. Not unlike the movie “We Bought a Zoo” except it’s a boat, no animals to care for and Matt Damon is definitely not here! I checked. It’s been super fun so far. It was my parents boat that we bought so we were familiar with it (in that, we’ve been on it, had several adult beverages on it, worked on my tan on it, that kind of thing). Turns out, you can learn how to launch, drive and take the boat out of water all on you tube. You can probably get a college degree on you tube at this point. Welcome to 2016. I can only imagine what the world will be like for my great grandchildren.

So, cooking, I did it last night. Sort of. I had spaghetti sauce in my freezer so I pulled that out in the morning. Then I went about my morning at the pool. It’s a rough life. A bunch of my family is in town this week and they rented a lovely house with a glorious pool that I’ve been slutting it up at the last few days and will continue to do so the next few days!

Anywho, I returned home in time (sort of) for Thing 2’s nap. So I put him down, boiled some penne paste to al dente perfection (in 10-12 minutes coz it said so on the box). I tossed the noodles with the sauce I had pulled in the morning as well as a block of cream cheese and some grated parmesan cheese. Then I put that shit in the fridge til it was time to bake, which I did for about 40 minutes on 350 degrees then topped with shredded mozzarella and continued cooking until the cheese melted. I served this concoction with some Italian bread and cut up cucumbers (that I grew myself) and cherry tomatoes (that I bought myself). Voila! It was simple. It was tasty. It was dinner.

Now, I can’t remember if I’ve given you my spaghetti sauce recipe (on account of alcohol consumption – kidding – sorta – no really – sorta!) so I’ll give it to you again just in case.

Ingredients:

1 lb lean ground beef

1 small onion

1 small green pepper

1 large can tomato sauce

1 large can tomato puree

2 tsps garlic powder

2 tsps chili powder

2 tsps oregano

Directions:

Saute green pepper, onions and ground beef (I do it all together coz I’m just that lazy!!). Mix with all the other ingredients in a large sauce pan. Now, the longer you let all these ingredients get to know each other, the yummier the sauce is going to taste so it’s nice to make the sauce early and let it simmer all day. Pretty simple and we like it.

So, until next time friends, (could be a day from now, a week from now, a month from now, hell could be a year from now) cook as little as possible and soak up as much vitamin D as possible. It’s good for the sol (see what I did there!!) xoxo

 

 

Backstreet’s Back…alright!

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Kidding! Don’t get your hopes up. It’s just me. Recipe blogger extraordinaire. Only really bad at it. To be fair, I warned all of you time and time again of my suckiness.

Life has been busy. Obviously. Dad was sick. Baseball season happened. Kindergarten ended. Vacations were had. Fireworks exploded. And today I have a moment of peace while the baby (toddler) naps and the 6 year old plays with Legos. So I decided to drop in and say hello.

Don’t worry. I have been feeding my family. They have not starved to death. However, the cooking hasn’t been good. The recipes haven’t been tried. The blog hasn’t been written. But I’m going to start up again. Tomorrow. (Are you seeing a trend here?!) I swear though. I am cooking tonight – one pot chicken alfredo – but I’ve already shared that recipe with you. It’s a good one if you haven’t tried it. And it’s super easy!!

So my dad – in case you’re wondering – is the luckiest man alive and we are the luckiest family alive. He has made a full recovery and is doing so well. My heart is bursting with happiness for him, for my kids, for my mom, for my brother and for me. We need him in our lives and the good Lord above granted us that wish.

My big boy had an amazing year in baseball. If you recall, he struggled at the start with the pitching machine. Well, I don’t mean to brag or anything (yes I do!!) but he started the year earning the game ball and ended the year earning the game ball – with a home run and a GRAND SLAM. Yes folks, my 6 year old hit a grand slam. Unfortunately they lost, but still. That’s pretty damn amazing!!!

He also graduated kindergarten and while I thought I was one of those tough moms that wants her children to grow and prosper, I found myself crying and sad for how fast life is moving.

The toddler is exactly as you’d expect a budding 2 year old to be. Cuter than hell. Rottener than a 2 month old tomato!

I believe when we left off, I was starting a 10 day shred to help lose some weight. I’m happy to report, I shed 13 pounds. I’m unhappy to report, I’ve gained 33. Ok, that’s not quite accurate but the weight loss has been a struggle. Has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking like a fish and eating like a pig. Just call me fig or a pish – your call!!!

So, that’s where the Jones’s are at right now. I’ll check back in later in the week. When I actually cook something new! xoxo